Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Youre my friend, not my parents! Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. I grew up being complimented for my looks . 4. Future Planet. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. "Be proud of your scars. 2. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . . 1. 24. 3. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. 17. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. Thank you so much. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Ah. It remains condescending and arrogant. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. . I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. Your email address will not be published. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. For what? Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. I dont think that without your support I can make it. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. 2. Better Responses 2023. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Approval is different to acceptance. They mean the exact opposite of what you think. You reject that person's generosity. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. They didn't have to do that. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. But is that really very useful? She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. And guess what? Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images Fascinating post in two regards. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote Can "me too" be used here? Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. I have always struggled with this word. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . She says "Good boy. If you're a friend, it's friendly. "I had no idea". We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. What if you really are proud of the person? Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. What is BBC Future? Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. Language gets corrupted. Wondering where that may be coming from. JavaScript is disabled. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. "Nothing is ever wrong. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . I wasnt happy with this performance. It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Thanks. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). 15. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. Thats the response I was expecting from you. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. But to be proud of them? 4. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. All Rights Reserved. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. 2. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. 2. Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. 5. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? Your email address will not be published. I still think she was doing this at the time. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. . Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. Words have power and they can have a profound effect on us. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. ". 1. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. 1. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. What a surprise! This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. Thank you. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. But worse, my friend thanked them. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. We had a really nice time. 9. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. This is a noble endeavor. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. . I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. I teach high school. 9. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . Yeah, this means a lot to me. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. This is a very interesting discussion for me. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). 10. 12. . Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. Lost Index. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. 11. Stay in the know when we release new content! SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . Im excited, are you? I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Think of things people have often praised. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear.